Isto não é uma crônica; isto é um artigo bem sério para quem, como eu, venha a necessitar, num futuro breve, deste importante serviço – How to finish your business in the Kakoose – na Índia de meu coração.
Siga os sábios conselhos de Wilbur Sargunaraj, que faço questão de traduzir do Inglês… para o Inglês!!!
Watch the precious video right now!
How to use Eastern Latrine: Wilbur Sargunaraj
1) Kakoose, in India, is “latrine” or “privada” in Português;
2) So, please, come inside the Kakoose to do “your business”, as Wilbur teaches us, and not out there;
3) Do not forget to close the Kakoose’s door to avoid surprises;
4) You must verify if there is a Mug in the Kakoose;
5) It is a good idea, before your “business”, to fill the Mug with water to wash yourself;
6) Like this, you must verify if there is water in the Kakoose;
7) Use the Mug to wash yourself; but, remember, after – and not before – your “business”;
8 ) Take care of yourself to not drop down into the Kakoose; be careful: “there is a hole there”;
9) Remember: as Wilbur says, “some people use the Kakoose looking for the wrong way – this is incorrect!”;
10) It would be clever if you take the pant off (or skirt) before the “business”;
11) So, please, make yourself comfortable as possible looking to the door, not to the Kakoose’s hole;
12) You must “sit like this”, or open your mind and your “business’ hole” very, very well;
13) “There is no toilet paper. Avoid the paper”. Use your hands.
14) Like this, I suggest not to use rings in your fingers (and, of course, cut off your fingernail very well);
15) Now, the most important lesson: use the right hand to pick up the Mug to wash; and use the left hand to clean your “business’ hole”;
16) Take a look on how to handle the Mug and the left hand; if you are insecure, try to train a little in your backyard before your trip;
17) The most important thing: “Do not use to clean your business’ hole without the water”;
18) After your business, please, oh please!, “dont forget to pour water in the comode to clean the latrine (kakoose) after!!!”;
19) I agree with Mr. Wilbur: “it’s a very very clean method; toilet paper is not very clean”;
20) For God Sake! There is some soap too! So, you can clean your left hand with the soap, of course;
21) But, remember: handle the soap with the right hand to clean the left hand, and not handle the soap with the left hand to clean your “business’ hole”;
22) It is a very clever idea, to clean the hands and not the “business’ hole” with the soap, because you (or someone else) may need to use the Kakoose’s soap again;
23) Finally, in India, do not use the left hand to shake hands: USE ALWAYS ONLY THE RIGHT HAND;
24) Or… you can ask for someone’s help, with you, into the Kakoose: it’s your choice!
posted by Ramiro (07/05/2015)